Stumbling Over the Truth

      Hate .  What an ugly word!  But so much of our world today is filled with it.  I am facing an awkward dilemma about honesty and hate.  Before I go any farther, I want to be fair to those in my past who have been mentors, teachers, and had any kind of impact.  I deeply appreciate all that was taught and modeled for me.  Also, I do not hold any of those people responsible for what I am about to confess.  This is not a lay blame on someone else rant.        With that said, I must come clean and admit to a life that has been filled with hate.  Some where, some how though I know I didn't go to any instructional classes or seminars on this, I grew up learning to hate.  By now you have to be wondering, "Hate what?"  I don't really know if I could finish the answer to that question in one blog.  It certainly would take a great deal of time to state all of the possibilities.      ...

Do you remember that Cosby Show episode on father's day where Cliff (the dad) wanted his kids to put some thought into a father's day gift?  He got out all of the cheesy father's day gifts they had given to him over the years and showed them how ludicrous they were.  This Sunday will be father's day, but not just any father's day for me.  This will be the first one without my dad.   It is funny, my kids have been asking me what I would like for Father's Day.  I told them a paint sprayer would be nice, but honestly what I really would like to have is my dad (& mom) back.  Mom passed away from cancer a little over five years ago.  We went through the long decline and eventual passing as a family.  Dad left in a hurry this past March. Dad had moved in with my family after mom's passing.  At times, it was difficult for everyone to adjust, but dad found his second home with us.  I know that he really missed mom and longed to ...

Usually, I am not emotional about things, but this morning I am fighting back tears. Today my oldest son is graduating from high school. Time has been trying to tell me that I am starting to get old --grey hairs, need for more sleep, my son is taller than me, etc. When my wife and I first started having children, I was very excited about the time I would get to spend with my kids as the matured. I rellished teaching them sports, helping them with homework, and even discussing awkward dating situations. Today, I know that this is not completely over, but a huge part of my son's time learning with me to teach and coach him is over. For this, I shed a tear. I also realize how much I am in love with all my kids, and especially my son as I contemplate his very last grade school day. For those young parents who are just starting the parenting days, treasure each day and tell your children you love them daily. As for me, I just want to say, "Son, I love you." Congrat...

I can remember my father telling me that boys are easier to rear than girls. Perhaps for the first ten to twelve years of my son's life I would have agreed. My son is 16, nearing 17 years of age. Lately, I find myself wondering what happened? Mark Twain, I believe, said that when a boy reaches his teen years you should put him in a barrel and feed him through a hole in it, and when he turns 16 you should plug up the hole. There are times that I wonder if I shouldn't have followed Mr. Twain's idea. In retrospect, the issues that I have in dealing with my son come from inadequacies on my parenting. That is what is so frustrating about teens! Young children lull us into believing that everything is wonderful, so all we have to do is sit back and watch them grow. Then, as if out of some horror story, that sweet, fun loving child turns into a teen laden with all kinds of issues. What is hard for parents to face is the responsibility in the shaping of our children when t...

     It has been a long time since I last wrote.  I have often intended to, but never took the time to just write.  There have been many things on my mind that I have really wanted to write about, but maybe the most pressing is on the thought of value.      In an economically challenged world, value has become hugely important.  Our lives have become inundated with practicality and productivity.  No longer do we take the time to live, laugh, and love.  Value is given to everything, and unfortunately value drives our visions and goals.  Our time and more often our sanity is sacrificed doing things that we believe bring value to our lives in hope that we will achieve some level of worth that will make us satisfied with our lives.     One of the biggest questions of Jesus was, "What profit (value) does a man have if he gains the whole world, but loses his own soul?" [Paraphrase]  Something we all...

"The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are." -John Borroughs My twelfth grade English teacher made a purpose of giving her classes a wise saying everyday for her students to write down and think about. One of my favorites that i still remember today is, "Often people fail to recognize opportunity because it comes to the in overalls and looks like work!" America was once dubbed the land of opportunities, but sadly, as a nation we have failed to seize those same opportunities. Many of the people that I talk with are seeking a different life. For some it is the lure of materialism brought to a heightened awareness by seductive marketing. Others are fooled into dreams of "perfect" relationships by a Hollywood image or movie. Most people are looking for simply a change in their reality. There are other things people do to change their reality. For instance, my daughter changed her hair color just bef...

     Anyone who knows me knows I love my dog.  Three years ago a friend in our church had puppies to give away and left their pictures in the lobby of the church.  It was love at first sight, I just had to convince my wife.  Finally, I cajoled and persuaded her how great it would be to have a puppy again and she agreed.  We made all of the arrangements and brought home my dog, Daisy.      If you have ever seen the movie "Marlee and Me," the crazy stuff that Marlee does is exactly Daisy.  I can remember watching the movie thinking to myself that someone had been following me around taking notes on how Daisy acts to write that story.        While Daisy has had her share of "adventures" that one day we will look back and laugh about, there is one thing that I love desperately about her.  Every morning I get up first in my house and do my morning routine--shower, get dressed, and then go out to the family room...

      Yesterday was another long day.  Every year the staff reports back to work a week before the students do to get everything ready.  As the principal, I meet with all the teachers the Thursday before school starts to cover policies and procedures.  It is long and boring, but necessary.  Every year we discuss wanderers--those students who like to "wander around aimlessly" instead of going to class.      This morning as I was reading the Scriptures, I came across Psalm 119:10, where the Psalmist said, "With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!"  It dawned on me that the reason students wander aimlessly from classes is really the same reason you and I wander from God's Word.  Students that wander aimlessly really don't have their whole heart in whatever class or subject they are trying to get out of.       Duh!!  This is the same problem we have with the Wor...

      I woke up this morning realizing that I have many habits and characteristics that my parents have given or instilled in me.  For many of them, I am extremely thankful.  Others, maybe not so much.  Some of these are very noticeable.  In fact, yesterday as I sat in my office in a meeting with a parent of a student in my school, the conversation went to a very strange place.  The mother of this student ended our meeting with a question.  She said her husband was dying to know what I did to get my head to look so smooth.        This would have to be one of the strangest things I have ever had a person ask.  I thought it was kind of obvious how this happened.  You see my dad is bald.  Growing up there was never a time that I can remember my dad having much more hair on his head then he does now at the age of seventy-nine.  Even as a young boy in elementary school, I was teased and prepared for my life...

      I have always hated being alone.  Now I have moments when I like to be left alone to rest, and get some things done, but I hate being alone.  Really, I believe that most of us a like this because God placed within us the need to have relationships with others.        As a kid growing up I had certain responsibilities (you could call them chores) to fulfill as a member of my family.  Being the youngest, I probably got the easiest assignments, but nonetheless, I did have certain regular tasks to complete each week.  One of these tasks was the responsibility for the household garbage to be put out for the garbage collector to take twice a week.      Now that I am grown and have my own kids, I don't really think that putting the garbage out for the trash man was really that big of job.  When I was a kid, it seemed like a huge burden.  Well, maybe not huge, but it was more like a regular inconvenience. ...

     One of the greatest needs that you and I have is to feel needed.  In fact, there is nothing worse than feeling like you don't belong or are not needed.  It is like shopping with my wife for clothes.        As a man, a hunter-gather, I am very goal oriented.  So when my wife says that we should go shopping, I am wanting to know what exactly I am looking to find.  I want the color, size (by the way, be careful about asking this one), the make, and any other specs that would allow me to quickly find what we are "hunting."  But that is just it, she is not "hunting" at all.  There really is no one item that she is particularly looking to find.  So we just amble through rack after rack of clothes until something strikes her fancy.       Most of the time when it comes to clothes shopping, my help is useless.  Over the years, I have learned this and have even tried to accommodate my "hunter" tendenc...

      I am considering making an appointment to see my doctor about my memory.  Actually, I may need to call the Center For Disease Control (CDC) because I am scared that there is an epidemic of memory loss.  It must be something that is happening all over.  Why just the other night I saw a commercial for a liquid that you could purchase to help with your memory.  In fact I would have called the number to order some of the product, but I couldn't remember the phone number.        Over the years of marriage, my memory has faded.  My wife often tells me that I don't remember things correctly, and then she proceeds to instruct me as to how things really happened.  I find this very odd because when I tell her about something or ask her to do something for me, she often forgets.  Now that I think about this, I have to wonder if there some kind of virus that attacks only certain memories.  You see my wife ca...

     "Failure is not fatal.  Failure to change might be."  --John Wooden      My dad is celebrating his 79th birthday on Sunday.  As a family we have been at a loss to think of what to get him that really will be meaningful for him.  I think when you reach a certain age, all of the things that were so important to you as a young person just don't mean so much.  Oh sure, you can always find a gadget or toy that would be nice, but to really get a gift that is meaningful is another thing.  I also realize that getting a gift for him in comparison to all of the wisdom, experience, and truth he has imparted to us just doesn't really match up.        Now that I am in my 40's and I have three teenage kids, I find the wisdom of my dad much more important than anything else I could possess.  You see youth is cursed with vanity and pride.  For some of us, we never out grow it.  It is a constant battl...

     Have you ever felt like trouble knows your address?  It seems to me that no matter where I go, problems seem to find me.  I remember years ago taking a road trip with several students to go see a college in Missouri.  The homeward journey was long, so it was the plan to stop at a point about halfway to get some much needed rest, and then head out bright and early to finish the trip.   Having driven this route a couple of times, I had already decided the exit I would pull off the interstate as it had plenty of clean motels to choose from.  It was just between 10:30 and 11:00 p.m. at night as we approached the off-ramp for the desired exit when I heard it.  There was a pop or banging noise and then the bus started driving very funny.  Yes, you guessed it, we had a blowout!        We were sitting on the side of the interstate highway within fifty yards of the exit ramp. How frustrating to be so close yet so far awa...

     As a kid growing up my family didn't take many vacations.  In fact I can only remember a couple of times going on a vacation to visit some family in Tennessee.  When my wife and I were married, we wanted to try to make sure that we took some kind of family vacation every year once the kids were old enough to do this.  Over the years I can look back and say that we have been able to stay at some nice places for vacation.  Picking out nice places though has been a task that can be very difficult as we have always had a shoe string budget to work with for our vacations.      When the kids were very little, we could just get a nice motel room and put three kids in one bed and my wife and I in the other.  Doing this brought us all closer together, but there were difficulties to this.  Rebekah and Caleb, my oldest and youngest were very restless sleepers.  Daniel, my middle child, was always the light sleeper.  Even t...

      I hate to wait.  Maybe it is that deep need to control every aspect of life that causes me to hate to wait, but I have to admit I struggle with waiting.  This character flaw has been something I have battled all of my life.  As a kid, my mom would make me take naps on Sunday afternoons.  That was pure torture to me.  I just wanted to get to the next thing.  Though I hated getting up early, my nature to not wait made it more natural to need to be up to experience the activities of the day.        As the baby of the family, all I ever heard growing up was, "You'll get to do ___________ when you are older."  What I really heard was, "Just Wait!"  Consequently, I have never been good at waiting or surprises.  It is dreadful for someone to tell me that they need to talk to me . . . later.  (That just about kills me.)  As I grew older, I constantly found new things to have to wait for, and I focus...

     In 2 Corinthians 10 the apostle Paul answers some charges of people that he is no always real about his faith.  These people claim that Paul is one way when he writes, but a totally different person when he is face to face.  Paul answered these claims with the fact that the only power to live by in this world today is the truth of God.  Paul goes on to speak of that power in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6:   "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."       A stronghold takes our minds off of God and His Word.  It steals our focus.  It causes us to feel controlled or m...

  "Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved."  Psalm 55:22      Having done a little traveling internationally, I can tell you baggage is the worst thing to deal with.  Several years ago, I was on a trip with a church group heading to Africa.  We were in London's Heathrow airport awaiting our connecting flight.  We had been told a gate number, but it was not showing on the departure board.  Several of the guys in our group wanted to go check out the shops, and get something to eat, leaving two of us to sit with the carry-on luggage and drink our coffee.       Time passed, and glancing up at the departure board it showed our connection at a totally different gate.  In fact, the new gate was quite a hike and none of the guys who had left their carry on luggage had returned.  We waited patiently for some time, but when one of the airport termi...

“Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day.”      -Billy Graham      The very first time I went on a police ride-along I was informed about the term "profiling."  It is policy for law enforcement officials not to profile people (basically decide what kind of person they are based on their color, age, clothes, etc.).  Spending any time in public places though, you and I can't help but "profile" people by the way they appear.  On the news this morning, a senator was even talking about passing a bill to have a school dress code so that students wouldn't be allowed to wear their pants hanging down showing their underga...

     So much of our day to day routine is wrapped up in making us into something that we really aren't.  Young people pierce themselves all over.  Tattoos are all the rage again.  Hair styles are constantly on the change (for those who can grow hair still).  With Mohawks, mullets, shaved heads, spikes for the young and hair weaves, plugs, and dye jobs for the not so young, as a culture we are constantly trying to change our image.  Why?  I would have to speculate that we are not satisfied with who or what we are.  From the time that Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden, man has been trying to rid himself of the image of God because it reminds us that we are accountable to Him.        In Psalm 51, David finally gets to the understanding that no matter how much he pretended on the exterior, God really knew what he was on the inside.  David had done such a good cover up job, that he really thought no one ...