Skip to main content

Scarred & Alone

     I have always hated being alone.  Now I have moments when I like to be left alone to rest, and get some things done, but I hate being alone.  Really, I believe that most of us a like this because God placed within us the need to have relationships with others.  
     As a kid growing up I had certain responsibilities (you could call them chores) to fulfill as a member of my family.  Being the youngest, I probably got the easiest assignments, but nonetheless, I did have certain regular tasks to complete each week.  One of these tasks was the responsibility for the household garbage to be put out for the garbage collector to take twice a week.
     Now that I am grown and have my own kids, I don't really think that putting the garbage out for the trash man was really that big of job.  When I was a kid, it seemed like a huge burden.  Well, maybe not huge, but it was more like a regular inconvenience.  The trash man came very early on Tuesday and Friday mornings.  Therefore, I had to make sure that the garbage was out on the curb the evening before.
     For those of you who are younger, it was not until I was in high school that we actually had rubber trashcans on wheels like my kids get to use.  Garbage cans we metal (some kind of aluminum I believe) and did not have wheels.  They were heavy without having anything in them, but when filled up the were extremely hard to move.  The older the cans got, the more dents and dings they had.  They would lose some of their shape as they were tossed and banged around by the trash collectors and myself.  And if you didn't remember to keep the lid on tight, they would fill up with rain water.  Then try moving them.
     I hated taking out the trash, and like everyone else who faces these kinds of things regularly, I would wait until the very last minute to do it.  Thursday evenings were the worst.  I don't know why, but I would always wait until the very last moment to do the trash.   My mom would start in on me about getting it done, but I don't think she realized the importance of not missing an episode of "Magnum P.I."
     Tom Sellek was so cool driving around in that red Ferrari, living in Hawaii as the guest of some super rich guy (who we never saw).  There was Higgins and his doberman pinschers, Zeus and Apollo.  T.C. was always flying people places in his helicopter and Rick who worked at the King Kamehameha Club always had connections.  Everyone I knew watched Magnum P.I.
     So by the time Magnum P.I. was over, it would be 9 p.m. and dark outside.  I would have put off my job as long as possible and now I had to get it done.  The trashcans were kept front corner of the backyard.  Did I mention that it was dark by now?  The front of the house was well lit at night, and there was a small light on the back porch that kept the backyard from being too dark, but the side of the house was pitch black.
     I don't know if had a super active imagination or what, but the small stretch from the backyard to the front curb was huge to me.  There was not one single shimmer of light, and my mind would race with all kinds of imagined things that were in those shadows.  I remember getting the trashcan to the back fence gate, slowly opening the gate and then dragging the trashcan as fast as was possible through the dark.  Though nothing ever really was in the dark waiting to grab me, my mind was full of terrors that lurked in the darkness just waiting to pounce.
     When the Psalmist says, "I called on the Lord in distress; the Lord answered me and set me in a broad place.  The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.  What can man do to me?" (Psalm 118:5-6),  I can imagine him having to make it through the darkness on the side of my childhood home.  Though it was my own fault that I had to go through this scary ritual of taking out the trash twice a week, the most reassuring moment was when I was done and went back inside my home.  There was plenty of light, safety and security in the presence of my father.  
     That is a lesson worth remembering.  You see we often end up in dark, scary places in our lives.  We find ourselves all alone and fear sets in, but we need to remember that God, our Father will always be on our side to remove all fear.  No need to be scarred and alone.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fires, Lights, Barriers, and Superman. . . Encouragement for Difficult Days

     Have you ever had one of those days where you wished you had never gotten out of bed?  Those days come for everyone (like that is encouraging), but how we make it through those days is totally up to each of us.  John Maxwell tells us in his book, The Winning Attitude , that "our attitude determines our altitude."  You know he is right, but sometimes you want to ask guys like him, "Have you been through a day like mine?".  I can't really answer that question, but a guy named David helps us with our struggles.        David wasn't always king and things weren't always easy for him.  Sure we all know about his Goliath situation, but if you looked into David's life it would seem like a mess.  He was anointed to be king in his teen years, but had to wait for God to remove Saul.  In the mean time, Saul made David's life difficult to say the least.  He was the most wanted man in his home country, as well as in Philistine.  Because of this he had

Why is it so hard to walk on water?

     Yesterday I came home from work to find that my kitchen light wasn't working.  No big deal, except for the fact that today is my oldest son's birthday.  My wife was intending to make him a birthday cake, but with no light it was going to be challenging.  So we decided that the thing to do was to try new light bulbs and if that didn't work, replace the fixture.  This meant a trip to our local Lowes to get what was needed.  The unique light bulbs took a while to find and then we selected (after a few moments of debating price, color, size, etc.) a new light fixture and went home.        The easy and more inexpensive solution would have been the replacement light bulbs, but when we changed them out the light still did not work.  This meant changing out the fixture.  Though the box of the new light fixture assured me that this was a simple task that could be completed by one person but this proved to be not as simple.  After some sweat, frustration, and perseverance w

Puppy Love

     Anyone who knows me knows I love my dog.  Three years ago a friend in our church had puppies to give away and left their pictures in the lobby of the church.  It was love at first sight, I just had to convince my wife.  Finally, I cajoled and persuaded her how great it would be to have a puppy again and she agreed.  We made all of the arrangements and brought home my dog, Daisy.      If you have ever seen the movie "Marlee and Me," the crazy stuff that Marlee does is exactly Daisy.  I can remember watching the movie thinking to myself that someone had been following me around taking notes on how Daisy acts to write that story.        While Daisy has had her share of "adventures" that one day we will look back and laugh about, there is one thing that I love desperately about her.  Every morning I get up first in my house and do my morning routine--shower, get dressed, and then go out to the family room to read my Bible.  Each and every morning I am greeted wit

Graduation Day

Usually, I am not emotional about things, but this morning I am fighting back tears. Today my oldest son is graduating from high school. Time has been trying to tell me that I am starting to get old --grey hairs, need for more sleep, my son is taller than me, etc. When my wife and I first started having children, I was very excited about the time I would get to spend with my kids as the matured. I rellished teaching them sports, helping them with homework, and even discussing awkward dating situations. Today, I know that this is not completely over, but a huge part of my son's time learning with me to teach and coach him is over. For this, I shed a tear. I also realize how much I am in love with all my kids, and especially my son as I contemplate his very last grade school day. For those young parents who are just starting the parenting days, treasure each day and tell your children you love them daily. As for me, I just want to say, "Son, I love you." Congrat

What I want for Father's Day

Do you remember that Cosby Show episode on father's day where Cliff (the dad) wanted his kids to put some thought into a father's day gift?  He got out all of the cheesy father's day gifts they had given to him over the years and showed them how ludicrous they were.  This Sunday will be father's day, but not just any father's day for me.  This will be the first one without my dad.   It is funny, my kids have been asking me what I would like for Father's Day.  I told them a paint sprayer would be nice, but honestly what I really would like to have is my dad (& mom) back.  Mom passed away from cancer a little over five years ago.  We went through the long decline and eventual passing as a family.  Dad left in a hurry this past March. Dad had moved in with my family after mom's passing.  At times, it was difficult for everyone to adjust, but dad found his second home with us.  I know that he really missed mom and longed to go be with her, but I

The Greatest Gift

     I was flipping through the pages of my Bible when it popped out, a picture of my daughter.  The picture was from her first Christmas.  She was such a happy baby.  In fact she made everyone around her happy--it was infectious.       Becoming a dad was nothing I was (or for that matter am) prepared for.  Everyone I knew had told me about the practical side of parenting.  People offered advice about how much kids will cost me, eat me out of house and home, and take from me.  I was made too painfully aware of the every rising expenses of diapers, baby food, clothes, education, and other miscellaneous items.  What I was never told was how much my kids would give me.           As we approach another Father's day, I am worried.  Once again my kids will head to who knows where ( Wal -Mart most likely!) to get some kind of gift that Hallmark has deemed a necessity to go with their card giving occasion (cynical isn't it).  Over the years I have gotten some "great" gifts. 

Value

     It has been a long time since I last wrote.  I have often intended to, but never took the time to just write.  There have been many things on my mind that I have really wanted to write about, but maybe the most pressing is on the thought of value.      In an economically challenged world, value has become hugely important.  Our lives have become inundated with practicality and productivity.  No longer do we take the time to live, laugh, and love.  Value is given to everything, and unfortunately value drives our visions and goals.  Our time and more often our sanity is sacrificed doing things that we believe bring value to our lives in hope that we will achieve some level of worth that will make us satisfied with our lives.     One of the biggest questions of Jesus was, "What profit (value) does a man have if he gains the whole world, but loses his own soul?" [Paraphrase]  Something we all need to consider is the value we give to our lives.  As I work with teens

Living the Good Life

The other morning I was hungry and decided to stop by Dunkin' Doughnuts for coffee and a toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese.  As I pulled in looked over to the drive thru and noticed the cars were stacked 4-5 deep and they didn't look like they were going anywhere.  So, I decided to go inside (I am not a huge drive thru fan).  Once inside I notice that all of the employees had long, sad faces . . .  the kind you get after working a double shift.  Even the manager looked like she didn't want to be there.  Not one person had a smile on their face.  It caused me to think about how the end of their day would look, since this was only 6:55 a.m.   So often we forget that as Christ-followers we have every reason to smile.  Psalm 47 encourages us to get excited about the life that we have because God is AWESOME!  It calls us to clap our hands (and I'm not thinking that quite little golf clap) and shout for joy.  When was the last time you got up out of bed and ga

Getting used to the Daily Grind

     Back when my wife and I were first married, Dunkin' Doughnuts had an advertisement that showed one of their employees getting up in the early hours of the morning--every morning.  He would be half asleep, but he would repeat, "Time to make the doughnuts," every time.  It was very humorous and got my wife and I to repeat that slogan as we would wander out of bed to start our day.  It was those morning blahs of a daily grind that we were referring to when we said, "time to make the doughnuts."  But haven't you ever felt like you are stuck in a rut?  Maybe it's your job or your relationships or you church or your life that have you feeling like you are caught in routine.  Possibly it is something that really has you enslaved that you really don't want anyone knowing about. Don't get used to slavery!      The Israelites had this problem.  They had grown accustomed to being slaves in Egypt.  Joseph had saved them and the known world fro

The Real Me . . . Psalm 51

     So much of our day to day routine is wrapped up in making us into something that we really aren't.  Young people pierce themselves all over.  Tattoos are all the rage again.  Hair styles are constantly on the change (for those who can grow hair still).  With Mohawks, mullets, shaved heads, spikes for the young and hair weaves, plugs, and dye jobs for the not so young, as a culture we are constantly trying to change our image.  Why?  I would have to speculate that we are not satisfied with who or what we are.  From the time that Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden, man has been trying to rid himself of the image of God because it reminds us that we are accountable to Him.        In Psalm 51, David finally gets to the understanding that no matter how much he pretended on the exterior, God really knew what he was on the inside.  David had done such a good cover up job, that he really thought no one would find out about the adulterous relationship he had with Bathsheba.  Da