I hate to wait. Maybe it is that deep need to control every aspect of life that causes me to hate to wait, but I have to admit I struggle with waiting. This character flaw has been something I have battled all of my life. As a kid, my mom would make me take naps on Sunday afternoons. That was pure torture to me. I just wanted to get to the next thing. Though I hated getting up early, my nature to not wait made it more natural to need to be up to experience the activities of the day.
As the baby of the family, all I ever heard growing up was, "You'll get to do ___________ when you are older." What I really heard was, "Just Wait!" Consequently, I have never been good at waiting or surprises. It is dreadful for someone to tell me that they need to talk to me . . . later. (That just about kills me.) As I grew older, I constantly found new things to have to wait for, and I focused my yearnings on the passing of those events. I couldn't wait until I was in high school. I couldn't wait until I had a job. I couldn't wait until I was 16. I couldn't wait until I could drive a car. I couldn't wait until I was 18. I couldn't wait until I was in college. I couldn't wait until I was married. And the list could just go on.
Known surprises have always been hard for me to handle. My wife found that Christmas was not an easy thing. I hated the surprise of the what she would get me. When my kids were very little, I would get them to tell me what she had bought for me for Christmas. It got so bad that my wife would make them promise not to say. In fact, my oldest son, Daniel, who has a very tough time not telling what he knows, one Christmas took me to where my wife had hidden what she had bought for me because he had promised not to tell.
Maybe the reason I hate to wait is because that is what has been a huge part of my life. It seems that I constantly am being forced to wait. When my wife was pregnant with our first child, the pregnancy moved very fast. It was 6 months into the pregnancy when my wife started have contractions. After several trips to the emergency room, the doctor put her on bed rest so that she didn't have a premature delivery. Maybe I should have told the doctor about my issue with waiting. Instead of going premature like the doctor thought, our daughter, Rebekah, was born two weeks late. My wife had to be induced into labor. By the way, going through that first delivery was rough on me. No one told me that I would have to wait so long for the baby to come out. The doctor sent us on to the hospital for my wife to be induced into labor. Not knowing I thought we would go in, get set up with the medicine and an hour or so later we would be holding our newest member of the family. NOT!!! We went to the hospital sometime fairly early on Monday morning and it was in the morning hours of Tuesday when my wife gave birth.
Waiting is just something I don't do well. Over the years I have had to wait for flights, doctors appointments, driver's license appointments (ask anyone in Seminole County Florida how bad this is), jobs, trips, deadlines, parties, activities, and whatever else you can think of to wait for. Probably the most difficult though for me is my waiting for God. My controlling nature is always at odds with God. It doesn't matter how many times people remind me that everything works according to God's timing, I get impatient. There, I said it. I lack patience!
I have been terrified to say the "p" word because God's Word tells us that we get patience through tribulation in our lives. This is something I really could do without. I don't know how the great men of God endured the tribulation in their lives so well. Job, who lost everything, simply sat and waited for God to answer him. Daniel, sat all night in the middle of a bunch of lions and patiently waited for the sun to come up the next day. I guess the one person that really epitomizes the patiently waiting on God is David.
It drives me crazy to think that David, as a young teenager gets anointed to be king, but has to wait for God to move Saul out of office. And while David is waiting, Saul begins to make David's life miserable. David had to leave family, friends, and all he knew to live in the wilderness, caves, and even with the enemy just to survive. The waiting process would have pushed me over the edge, but not David. David says, "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." (Psalm 62:5 NLT)
What I have realized is that I will never be what God wants until I learn to let go of the illusion that I can control my life. David was a man after God's own heart, not because he lived a perfect life. David was an adulterer, a murderer, a liar, and a poor father. The secret to David's life was total surrender of his life to God's timing, plans, and will. "Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah" (Psalm 62:8) The illusion of control is an idol in my life that I need to sacrifice on my life's altar to God. What about you?
As the baby of the family, all I ever heard growing up was, "You'll get to do ___________ when you are older." What I really heard was, "Just Wait!" Consequently, I have never been good at waiting or surprises. It is dreadful for someone to tell me that they need to talk to me . . . later. (That just about kills me.) As I grew older, I constantly found new things to have to wait for, and I focused my yearnings on the passing of those events. I couldn't wait until I was in high school. I couldn't wait until I had a job. I couldn't wait until I was 16. I couldn't wait until I could drive a car. I couldn't wait until I was 18. I couldn't wait until I was in college. I couldn't wait until I was married. And the list could just go on.
Known surprises have always been hard for me to handle. My wife found that Christmas was not an easy thing. I hated the surprise of the what she would get me. When my kids were very little, I would get them to tell me what she had bought for me for Christmas. It got so bad that my wife would make them promise not to say. In fact, my oldest son, Daniel, who has a very tough time not telling what he knows, one Christmas took me to where my wife had hidden what she had bought for me because he had promised not to tell.
Maybe the reason I hate to wait is because that is what has been a huge part of my life. It seems that I constantly am being forced to wait. When my wife was pregnant with our first child, the pregnancy moved very fast. It was 6 months into the pregnancy when my wife started have contractions. After several trips to the emergency room, the doctor put her on bed rest so that she didn't have a premature delivery. Maybe I should have told the doctor about my issue with waiting. Instead of going premature like the doctor thought, our daughter, Rebekah, was born two weeks late. My wife had to be induced into labor. By the way, going through that first delivery was rough on me. No one told me that I would have to wait so long for the baby to come out. The doctor sent us on to the hospital for my wife to be induced into labor. Not knowing I thought we would go in, get set up with the medicine and an hour or so later we would be holding our newest member of the family. NOT!!! We went to the hospital sometime fairly early on Monday morning and it was in the morning hours of Tuesday when my wife gave birth.
Waiting is just something I don't do well. Over the years I have had to wait for flights, doctors appointments, driver's license appointments (ask anyone in Seminole County Florida how bad this is), jobs, trips, deadlines, parties, activities, and whatever else you can think of to wait for. Probably the most difficult though for me is my waiting for God. My controlling nature is always at odds with God. It doesn't matter how many times people remind me that everything works according to God's timing, I get impatient. There, I said it. I lack patience!
I have been terrified to say the "p" word because God's Word tells us that we get patience through tribulation in our lives. This is something I really could do without. I don't know how the great men of God endured the tribulation in their lives so well. Job, who lost everything, simply sat and waited for God to answer him. Daniel, sat all night in the middle of a bunch of lions and patiently waited for the sun to come up the next day. I guess the one person that really epitomizes the patiently waiting on God is David.
It drives me crazy to think that David, as a young teenager gets anointed to be king, but has to wait for God to move Saul out of office. And while David is waiting, Saul begins to make David's life miserable. David had to leave family, friends, and all he knew to live in the wilderness, caves, and even with the enemy just to survive. The waiting process would have pushed me over the edge, but not David. David says, "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." (Psalm 62:5 NLT)
What I have realized is that I will never be what God wants until I learn to let go of the illusion that I can control my life. David was a man after God's own heart, not because he lived a perfect life. David was an adulterer, a murderer, a liar, and a poor father. The secret to David's life was total surrender of his life to God's timing, plans, and will. "Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah" (Psalm 62:8) The illusion of control is an idol in my life that I need to sacrifice on my life's altar to God. What about you?
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