There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. ~Napoleon I, Maxims, 1815
Relationships have changed over the past 19 years. It is discouraging when I think about all of the people that we have befriended over the years, yet have not kept in close contact with. Looking through my wedding pictures, I realized that most of the people in my wedding I have not been in close contact with for years. Everywhere we have been, we have found good friends that have helped lighten the load along the way. To those people I would like to give a warm sincere thanks for being a friend.
One of the greatest encouragements to me was Mr. Tignor. I went to college with both of his son's, but that is really not where he comes into play in my life. He was our adult Sunday school teacher in the church my wife and I attended after getting married. For the longest time, my wife and I felt all alone, but he always checked up on us. He called us if we missed church, and many times brought us a bucket of chicken or gave us money for pizza when we were struggling. I even remember him teaching my daughter to go up to men, tap them on their wallet and ask for money. (She did this once in a store to a stranger. It was very embarrassing.) Mr. Tignor probably never realized how much he meant to us and so many others that he encouraged along the way. It really is because of him that I never gave up on church--because he really was the one person who seemed to care.
Greg and Peggy Wells were another set of friends that helped us talk things through when we were struggling. They were always so much fun to be around, especially Greg with his laugh and humor. We loved watching movies together, playing games, and cooking out. It was always great to have someone to hang out with as a young couple. Greg's humor kept us in stitches. I remember him telling my wife to open the curtains in delivery room so that he could stand out side and watch. Peggy was a huge comfort to my wife as a friend. We learned and grew so much from their experience as a young couple and around churches. It was good to be able to share our burdens with people who understood what we were going through, because they had already gone through it. Greg's theories on life just kept us rolling on, and watching Ace Ventura Pet Detective was the best!
Moving to Florida provided us with much warmth in our lives--through the weather and a chance to be close with family. It was a special set of friends that we developed through church ministry that really brought us a great connection--Brian and Suzanne Brown. Brian and I both were hired to work with the youth at PABC. There are those people that you come across in life that you just seem to be simpatico with and that was Brian and I. Though we were very different in many things, we both loved to joke with people, and work hard. Those first couple of years working together, we worked like slaves. We would get up and come in to work early and stay late. I remember working from 6 a.m. until midnight to get the Family Life Center ready for use. We worked in our off hours to make extra money by refereeing basketball games, and installing window air conditioning units in some very scary conditions. He taught my son Daniel to call people "morons" and give people the looser sign on his forehead. I still can picture the night that we had to say goodbye to Brian and Suzanne as they were leaving to go work in another church. Floods of emotions overcame me that night as I really felt like I was loosing a brother. The great thing is that we have managed to stay in contact and just recently we got to hang out together. Every once in a while we get our families together and just do nothing. . . and it is terrific.
There really have been so many others who I will not take time to list who have been great friends over the years to my wife and I. We cherish the memories, yet live with the self-disappointment that we did not stay better connected. As for those who we are currently close to, please help us keep the connection fresh so that we have no regrets.
We really were clueless about love in the early days. We thought love was never getting close to each other without brushing our teeth, putting on deodorant, or making each other presentable. I was the worst. On our fifth anniversary, a group of guys for the youth ministry called me up and asked if I wanted to hang out at a baseball game with them. I remember looking at my wife and saying, "We don't have any plans, do we?" What an idiot I was (still am at times)! My wife still loved me. My wife has overcome many of my poor choices or weak attempts at being a husband (or even a man). It was while I was lying in the ICU bed in the hospital in 2005 that I really understood how much love my wife had for me. My wife helped clean me up and take care of me as I was literally dying in the hospital with malaria. Over the years she has poured out her love to me in various ways. As my mom battled and eventually lost her fight with cancer, it was my wife who sacrificed herself to help with everything. I was my wife who unreservedly invited my dad to be a part of our home after my mom passed away. She has never felt inconvenience or displayed anything but love for him. Love has grown in 19 years. It is because of this I can now say that I truly do love my wife, and feel like there is more meaning today to my commitment to love and cherish than there was that hot, rainy June Saturday 19 years ago.
Happy Anniversary to my wife! I love you.
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